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If I Had Legs I'd Kick You

A punishing, nerve-jangling mother-in-crisis drama that leans hard on performance, sound, and escalating dread. It sounds emotionally raw, formally aggressive, and likely to divide viewers, but for the right audience it should be a standout.

58% (422,894)

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You

Where to watch: Max

Movie · Drama · R

2025 · 1h 53m · ★ 58% (423K)

Everything is under control.

Director: Mary Bronstein

Starring: Rose Byrne, Conan O'Brien, A$AP Rocky

Overview

With her life crashing down around her, Linda attempts to navigate her child's mysterious illness, her absent husband, a missing person, and an increasingly hostile relationship with her therapist.

Director

Mary Bronstein

Production

A24, Central Pictures, Fat City, Bronxburgh

Cast

Rose Byrne, Conan O'Brien, A$AP Rocky, Danielle Macdonald, Delaney Quinn, Mary Bronstein, Ivy Wolk, Mark Stolzenberg, Manu Narayan, Christian Slater, Eva Kornet, Ella Beatty, Helen Hong, Daniel Zolghadri, Josh Pais, Ronald Bronstein, Lark White, Laurence Blum, Amy Judd Lieberman, Char Sidney

Where to watch

Max

Curator Review

Verdict

A punishing, nerve-jangling mother-in-crisis drama that leans hard on performance, sound, and escalating dread. It sounds emotionally raw, formally aggressive, and likely to divide viewers, but for the right audience it should be a standout.

Best for

  • viewers who like intense psychological dramas
  • fans of anxiety-driven, sensory filmmaking
  • people drawn to maternal breakdown stories
  • audiences who appreciate darkly funny stress comedies
  • viewers seeking a strong lead performance

Skip if

  • you want a comforting or uplifting drama
  • you dislike abrasive sound design and sustained tension
  • you prefer clear, tidy narrative resolutions
  • you are sensitive to depictions of parental guilt, illness, or panic

Overview

Mary Bronstein’s film looks built to make the viewer feel trapped inside Linda’s unraveling life. The setup alone promises a pressure-cooker of illness, absence, blame, and therapy gone sour, and the response from audiences suggests the movie fully commits to that discomfort rather than softening it.

Worth noting

What stands out most is the sense of formal control around chaos: the sound design, the escalating absurdity, and the lead performance all seem designed to turn everyday domestic crisis into something almost nightmare-like. That kind of intensity can be exhausting, but it also gives the film a clear identity and a strong point of view.

Bottom line

This is the sort of movie that people may admire more than they “enjoy,” though the praise for Rose Byrne suggests there is real emotional force underneath the panic. If you like films that weaponize stress and keep you off balance, this should land hard. If you need emotional distance or narrative comfort, it will probably feel like too much.

Top Letterboxd reviews

EinBen (3★) · 14066 likes

The Hamster to Lasagna cut was insane

joj66 (5★) · 12368 likes

The uncut gems for mothers

jwongdynasty (4★) · 12041 likes

What I imagine BetterHelp therapists are like

Karsten (4.5★) · 9736 likes

phenomenal , i’m gonna throw up

jonathan fujii (3.5★) · 8546 likes

Good movie! (i wanted to peel the skin off my face)

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Themes

maternal anxiety, family breakdown, child illness, therapeutic rupture, guilt and self-blame, urban isolation, psychological stress, dark comedy

Topics

psychological drama, maternal crisis, anxiety, dark comedy, family trauma, sound design, nightmare realism, emotional intensity, indie drama, sustained tension

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